Tears for you and me..

tuesday- oct.13 ..not a good day for me..
You now the feeling of expecting too much?..
at the end, it can hurt you, more than you expect..
I can't believe that a little creature can make me cry..
and can make our friendship gone..
but..there's a big BUT
for me, its more of the promise..not that little creature..

I hate broken promises..
if someone promised me, i expect too much..
that's one of my weaknesses, i know
but after this incident, i don't think i can expect to anyone anymore,
the way that i expect before..the same with trusting..
i learned that i should be fair with myself..
i shouldn't put too much effort to someone who doesn't even have the courage to fulfill his promises..

klase lng nmn ako ng tao na kung anu ang pinpkita mo
un ung paniniwalaan ko..
nothing more except for that..
keah kung pinkta mo na ur willng to do it..
i will expect you to do it..
peo ang knlbasan muka lng akong tanga..
yah..mukang tanga..
isa pa nga ulet..
muka tanga
yes, mukang tanga..

dat nyt..grabe..lahat ng mga napgdaanan nmin, pmxok kgad sa icp ko
para akong binaril bgla ng walang kalban laban..
filing ko tlga wala akung kkmpe, what a pathetic girl who was deserted by her friends
but den, buti n lng anjan c fwend..
khit la clang microphone sa bahay..
he managed to listen to me..
even my voice was shivering..
khit na nagrreply lng xa sa chat..
and, mahigit 1 hour din kmi nagdaldalan..
bcuz of that i forgot the problem..

but the problem is,, my friend is not only my problem..
there is another one..
he realized something that never been flashed even once in my mind..
i thought.."oo nga nmn, bat di ku naicp un"
at first, i think it can't affect me..
i tried to think of it again..and*shoot*..
it didn't failed to hit me..
i can't find a way to solve that problem
bcuz i know by heart i can never be replaced that name..
because that word symbolizes alot for me..
i just thought na..don't care what other people say..
as long as u know by heart our relationship, their approvement isn't needed..

wednesday..
my friend which i stated that he realized something,
noticed something in my face
"mukhang galit na galit ka sknya ah"
he said..
well totoo nmn..
that morning, my friend which i spoke earlier, didn't say any single word for me..
we didn't talk..
pride kung pride..
but nung hapon..
i was not really happy for his apologize..
aside from he's laughing..
i know someone motivated him to do that..
i know i need to be happy because we're magkakayos na..
but knowing that someone just insisted him na makipagayos is not good for me..

nung gabe..
we talked in chat..
i noticed that he's not paying attention..
xmpre as a friend..
i felt bad..
kung alam lng ng kausap ko..
namamaga na ang mta ko habang nkikipagchat..
peo kahit nah i'm not satisfied sa gnwa nyang apologize..
still pntawad ko xa..
inicp ku n lng na
"walang mggwa ang lecheng pride na yan"


Lessons learned?
hmm..negative eh..
never ecpect too much..
don't put much trust..
be sensitive on others feelings..(isang positive!)

maybe the pain is not there anymore..but still there's a scar that will never go away..
a scar that marks my katangahan..
and a scar that will always remind me this problems..

ang emo..
ayan na muna..
actually..aus na kming lahat..
i hope everything will be fine nah..
alam nmn ng lahat ng friends ko na mahal na mahal ku xla..

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
sna nga totoo..>.<

+**izhel**+